8/27/2010

Is it too much to ask? Probably, yes...

With all the goings-on at every level and every turn in our lives - local, state, national; social, political, cultural - y'know what causes my blood pressure to spike and makes me reach for a beer or six? The ridiculous, pissant excuse of a newspaper in this town. Seriously, it's a damned embarrassment to our fair city.

Hey, Rick, I get it - the internets are scary, and computers are very probably trying to take over the world and steal your precious bodily fluids. beep! boop! brrrttt! Error! Error! But for fuck's sake, man...

How you publish an alleged "newspaper" in this town with nothing but quotes and watered down press releases escapes both my natural sense of logic and my understanding of journalism (limited as it may be.) Yet, you have the audacity to criticize and denigrate bloggers because they're "not journalists" and dare to offer their opinions on the afore-mentioned goings-on. Blow me, newspaper man. Hell, you pulled your "Bloggers Aren't Journalists" editorial from your website.

And let's talk about your pathetic excuse for a website, for a minute. Here's what local citizens get to read when they click into your paper's opinion pieces online:

To read the rest of Rick Fromm's award-winning column subscribe to Decorah Newspapers at 563-382-4221 for just 34 cents an issue. Or purchase one at any of the many convenient locations in Decorah and throughout Winneshiek County.
You're kidding, right? 1) Award-winning? Whatever. 2) Subscribe to the dead tree version of your newspaper to read opinion columns? Nice racket ya got there, pally.

But wait! It's not just your columns, it's every damned opinion piece - check out the letters to the editor. Same thing:

To read the rest of this letter to the editor subscribe to Decorah Newspaper at...
But let's ignore, for the moment,the dismal and built-for-mockery quality of your newspaper and your bathetic (with a "B") tantrums about the internets and all the damned kids with computers(!), and think about this from a business perspective. You are charging local businesses American money to advertise on your crappy web site. But you're pulling a fast one on them, yes you are, by purposefully not posting 100% of the material you link. Y'know what that is, Rick? That's fraud. Or hucksterism. But mostly fraud, I think. Y'see, just because it's on the internets, it doesn't mean you get to rip off your advertisers. And that's exactly what you're doing: ripping them off. I don't know who's in charge of your web site, but you should fire their manager or just take the damned thing down.

And this is my problem with you, Rick. I really couldn't give a fuck if you insult bloggers. Really, I couldn't. I've been blogging for 5 years and I guarantee I've done more research, investigation and real, actual "journalism" than your newspaper has put out in the same time. But, I'm not offended. Hell, you write opinion columns; you're nothing more than a blogger with a big printer, begging people to pay for your paper and ink and then buy your revelations. Oooh, you hunt pheasants! Wow, suddenly everything is so significant!

But it would be nice if the local paper actually told us what the fuck is going on, once in a while. Maybe your advertisers would actually get their money's worth from you. And even though we don't have personal jet packs or flying cars, it would be nice to be able to read some local news on our new-fangled computer box gizmos without some crotchety old fuck insulting us because we realized it's two-thousand-and-fucking-10 and felt like giving the trees a break.

This is off the top of my head. I'll have more details and insights into the sorry state of our local news outlets, later.