Valhalla In the Valley

I Won't Be Ignored, Dan

2011-04-07T07:46:00.003-05:00

After a harrowing several months on the run from Rick Fromm and his henchman from the publishing cabal, I'm back on the tubes! Did you miss me? I know I certainly did. And you're very likely thinking, "Gosh, I'll bet Scott has probably matured, and spent a lot of time and energy on self-reflection and personal growth." No. That is not the case.

It seems like the longer I live in D-town, the less I know about what's happening around here. Is that intentional? Couldn't say, but I certainly feel like I'm losing touch with the local goings-on. But even if it were intentional, could you blame me? No, you probably could not. I mean, bollocks, this year's shiny thing is the controversy(!) over whether we can plant gardens in our boulevards. Will the Mayor veto? Can we survive as a community?? Will there be blood??? Yeesh...

Speaking of the Problems of the Privileged, I'm involved in several projects that are absolutely stonewalled and driving me nearly mental with frustration. Have you ever worked with those people who are so hung up on ancillary details that they never get anything done? Gah! It's just maddening to listen to these folks go on and on about the buzz and glory and whee! of things when they won't do any of the actual work required to get the project moving. Again, gah! I'll be the first to admit that I'm no poster boy for Ambition, Inc. but we're talking about relatively easy, mostly painless work that needs to be done here and my project-mates are running around in circles and giggling to themselves about how much everyone's going to love what they're doing. Frankly, it's a sad day when I'm the voice of reason.

Meanwhile, Spring comes a'creepin' to our fair city. I've seen some crocus and tulips popping up in the last few days and the weather is getting to a point where I can peel off a few of my normal half-dozen layers of thermal shirts and fleece pullovers. Being the jaded bastard that I am, however, I'm not quite ready to put it all into Summer storage and bring out the tropical shirts and shorts. Not this month, yet, anyway. And, of course, Spring means yard work. I'll admit my fondness for gardening, mowing and general yard upkeep has waned aggressively in the last few years. I'm not quite ready to pave the yard but the logic and appeal is not lost on me.

All that said, I can't really complain. Things are going reasonably well, I've plenty of food and a nice place to live, and the days are growing longer and warmer. It'll be a busy few months ahead, to be sure, but I guess that's the point of it all, isn't it?

Is it too much to ask? Probably, yes...

2010-08-27T12:08:00.007-05:00

With all the goings-on at every level and every turn in our lives - local, state, national; social, political, cultural - y'know what causes my blood pressure to spike and makes me reach for a beer or six? The ridiculous, pissant excuse of a newspaper in this town. Seriously, it's a damned embarrassment to our fair city.

Hey, Rick, I get it - the internets are scary, and computers are very probably trying to take over the world and steal your precious bodily fluids. beep! boop! brrrttt! Error! Error! But for fuck's sake, man...

How you publish an alleged "newspaper" in this town with nothing but quotes and watered down press releases escapes both my natural sense of logic and my understanding of journalism (limited as it may be.) Yet, you have the audacity to criticize and denigrate bloggers because they're "not journalists" and dare to offer their opinions on the afore-mentioned goings-on. Blow me, newspaper man. Hell, you pulled your "Bloggers Aren't Journalists" editorial from your website.

And let's talk about your pathetic excuse for a website, for a minute. Here's what local citizens get to read when they click into your paper's opinion pieces online:

To read the rest of Rick Fromm's award-winning column subscribe to Decorah Newspapers at 563-382-4221 for just 34 cents an issue. Or purchase one at any of the many convenient locations in Decorah and throughout Winneshiek County.

You're kidding, right? 1) Award-winning? Whatever. 2) Subscribe to the dead tree version of your newspaper to read opinion columns? Nice racket ya got there, pally.

But wait! It's not just your columns, it's every damned opinion piece - check out the letters to the editor. Same thing:

To read the rest of this letter to the editor subscribe to Decorah Newspaper at...

But let's ignore, for the moment,the dismal and built-for-mockery quality of your newspaper and your bathetic (with a "B") tantrums about the internets and all the damned kids with computers(!), and think about this from a business perspective. You are charging local businesses American money to advertise on your crappy web site. But you're pulling a fast one on them, yes you are, by purposefully not posting 100% of the material you link. Y'know what that is, Rick? That's fraud. Or hucksterism. But mostly fraud, I think. Y'see, just because it's on the internets, it doesn't mean you get to rip off your advertisers. And that's exactly what you're doing: ripping them off. I don't know who's in charge of your web site, but you should fire their manager or just take the damned thing down.

And this is my problem with you, Rick. I really couldn't give a fuck if you insult bloggers. Really, I couldn't. I've been blogging for 5 years and I guarantee I've done more research, investigation and real, actual "journalism" than your newspaper has put out in the same time. But, I'm not offended. Hell, you write opinion columns; you're nothing more than a blogger with a big printer, begging people to pay for your paper and ink and then buy your revelations. Oooh, you hunt pheasants! Wow, suddenly everything is so significant!

But it would be nice if the local paper actually told us what the fuck is going on, once in a while. Maybe your advertisers would actually get their money's worth from you. And even though we don't have personal jet packs or flying cars, it would be nice to be able to read some local news on our new-fangled computer box gizmos without some crotchety old fuck insulting us because we realized it's two-thousand-and-fucking-10 and felt like giving the trees a break.

This is off the top of my head. I'll have more details and insights into the sorry state of our local news outlets, later.

Straining the limits of Machine and Man

2009-10-28T09:42:00.007-05:00

It's been so long, I've almost forgotten how to write. No, check that - I think I've completely forgotten how to write. Ah well, onward!

I had a great time over the Reunion weekend, which shouldn't really be a surprise, and met some folks I literally hadn't seen since high school. Apologies all around. I'm not much for staying in touch with people after I've moved, and was frankly surprised, and chagrined, to find that some of them live here in Decorah. Oops! I hope, now that we've reconnected, we (I) can be a little more neighborly and keep in touch. A few folks left earlier than I'd hoped, too, which was a bit of a drag. Maybe next time, eh?

I was disappointed that a few people weren't able to make it - hopefully they know who they are. All in all, though, I was pleased with the turn out and it seemed like most of us had a good time. A slight hitch in the entertainment plan turned out to be rather a blessing, keeping me on my ~~best~~ better behavior Saturday night. Reunions seem to have an inherent level of hedonism that will be not denied its time. Fortunately, at least in my case, no unexplained bruises, hickies or serious injuries to report, though Friday night definitely took its toll.

(I managed to grab some decent pictures but obviously some of them need some editing - it's on the list.)

The level of physical change we've gone through over the years was interesting. Some of us really hadn't changed a bit, and others I didn't recognize until I was close enough to look them in the eyes. Even more interesting to me, there were a few folks whose voices were instantly recognizable, though I hadn't talked to them in years.

Overall, everyone looked great and I hope it was fun for everyone. Thanks to everyone who showed up, and I hope we'll see the rest of you soon.

On Decorah!

Momentum? I hardly know him!

2009-08-22T09:25:00.003-05:00

Finally, some decent weather around here! Looking outside, though, it seems very Autumn-y today - where has the Summer gone???

I really need to get outside and check the garden, but I'm flirting with the idea of just letting it go. The plants have been growing like crazy but I haven't even eaten any of the produce yet, since I'm not enough of a cooking fanatic to bother with any of it. I know, kind of a waste but... I just don't have the emotional connection required to enjoy it this year. It's almost as if I'm satisfied just knowing that something grew in that little patch of dirt.

It's going to be a busy week here in the Valley due to several concurrent projects. My buddy, Eric, and I are putting together a little band with another local musician whom some of you may know, and hope to play a show mid-October. Believe it or not, that's not much time for me to practice and learn new songs. I'll give you the details once we've worked everything out.

The Class Reunion is coming along, thanks to some serious effort by a couple classmates, so I hope to have everything settled enough to make it an enjoyable experience for everyone. I was somewhat surprised that Facebook isn't more effective at spreading the word, but invitations have been mailed. We shall see.

I'm also working on a serious deadline with the non-profit organization I'm involved in. The current project is a last-minute scramble to help the family of a disabled Iraq vet - housing, household goods, clothing, moving help... these folks need everything. Trying to find housing and coordinate donations and volunteers by the end of the month is turning out to be a bit more complicated than I'd originally anticipated. I'm actually using my second cell phone and carrying it around with me, and I am definitely not a phone person. But I know all too well the miserable weight of desperation, so I'm glad I can do something to help these folks.

(As an aside, PayPal can be one of the most frustrating outfits you'll ever deal with on the internets. The concept is great but the hoops you're forced to jump through will make you pull out your hair. Honestly, they have one of the worst User Experience models I've encountered.)

I guess that's it for the moment. Here's hoping the coffee kicks in soon, so I can accomplish something today.

The Dogwood Days of Summer

2009-08-18T08:18:00.004-05:00

It's August and, though we haven't been experiencing the brutal heat and humidity we're accustomed to this time of year, tempers are flaring, harsh words are exchanged, and citizens are taking sides in a great debate over the most important issues of our time. Health Care Reform? Nope. President Obama's birth certificate? Not even close. Tastes Great/Less Filling? Not this time, no. I'm talking, of course, about bicycles and tree trimming. That's right - bicycles on the streets and trimming trees are the issues that are tearing our fair community apart.

Bicycles - Decorah has a fairly large population of bike riders, which I think is great; but the good citizens here are locked in a battle over cyclists' rights and responsibilities that puts the Windows v. Mac debate to shame. I fully expect violence to break out at a City Council meeting as each side ratchets up the righteous indignation and demands their opinions be codified and enforced. To which I say: Hey, knuckleheads! It's common sense. Bicycles on the streets is not a new phenomenon in the city, nor are cars and trucks. Use your brains and drive/ride safely.

Tree trimming - The level of angst and panic on display over the city sending out certified letters to property owners re: tree trimming could only be matched by the news that a meteor was heading directly toward Winneshiek County, with hellish, fiery death a certainty for all. It's almost embarrassing to witness the hysteria that's overtaken the community as people try to comprehend this ~~unheard of fascism~~ ordinance that's been on the books since Decorah started paving its streets and sidewalks.

I'll admit I don't pay too much attention to issues at the local level; not because I have any kind of disdain for my community, it's just that I tend to follow national issues more closely. I guess I have a kind of "WTF? This is what you're upset about?" attitude toward some of the goings-on around here, and I find the level of outrage and shock over various issues somewhat odd. Then again, who am I to judge what's important to my neighbors?

Now, I'd better get a move on. I need to edge my sidewalks and mow the lawn before someone calls the Lawn Patrol on me.

Random photos from this morning

2009-06-30T13:45:00.008-05:00

Early morning antagonista

2009-06-30T07:57:00.002-05:00

So, my buddy decides that I deserve a couple drinks for taking care of the puppy. Yay, me! Then he decides that, rather than pick the puppy up right then, let's go out first and pick the puppy up on the way home.

Guess who's still at my house this morning.

Very sneaky, Eric. I see what you did there.

T minus 3

2009-06-29T15:38:00.006-05:00

Well, T is back on US soil, as of last night. She'll probably be here Thursday, which means I have quite a few little chores to finish off in a few short days. Cleaning, shopping, laundry, more cleaning...

I would have accomplished more this weekend, but I'm taking care of my buddy's puppy and that's practically a full time job in itself. After a while, I thought, "Hell, why bother while she's still here?", so there's still a hefty list to take care of before T's arrival. (Housekeeping note: Black dogs and white sheets are not a spectacular combination.) As of this writing, there haven't been any shoe casualties, though not for her lack of trying, so keep your fingers crossed until my buddy comes to pick her up.

On a sad note, I lost my little tray of herbs yesterday. I'd put them out on the upper deck to get some sunshine and the wind apparently flipped up the rug they were sitting on and spilled most of the dirt out of the tray. Or there's an herbist in the neighborhood, taking out his anger on innocent seedlings.

On a potentially happier note, there's one tiny shoot left on my eggplant, so there may be hope. One of the peppers is sprouting flowers already and the tomatoes seem to be growing, which is a good sign.

I'd better run to put Widget's blankets in the dryer. See how I spoil the ladies?

In a World Gone Sad

2009-06-26T08:53:00.006-05:00

This week, which isn't even over yet, has been a cable "news" producer's long, drawn out wet dream. Don't get me wrong, I hate cable "news" and everything it stands for... wait a minute, I guess that's actually my point - I never watch the stuff.

Yesterday, we lost two pop culture icons from my youth, not six hours apart and barely 24 hours after another cultural icon had passed. That, in itself, is reason for some sadness, depending on where you set up camp on the long arc of pop culture. But what made it even sadder for me, even thought the inevitability was practically climbing up my pant leg, was the perverse display of... well, I don't even know what the Hell you'd call it. Soul-fucking, maybe, by the blow-dried vultures who rule the roost of consumer media.

I happened to be out with a friend last night at a place that had Fox Tabloid Channel on one of the TVs and was somewhat dismayed that Michael Jackson's death garnered non-stop coverage, though I suppose I shouldn't have been. And this isn't about my opinion of Michael Jackson's life or work - it's about the media's obsession with... what? Scandal? Salacious tut-tutting and pearl clutching?

Farrah Fawcett's body was barely cold and she was already forgotten. I guess it says something about our national obsession with celebrity, and perhaps more about our obsession with gasp!-y celebrity horror stories, that a man whose personal demons caused him to undergo multiple episodes of self-denying physical mutilation and whose alleged predilections regarding children would consume the media more than the death of a woman who was, at the very least, as well known and who turned her intimate battle against the ravages of cancer public. Perhaps I'm naive.

In my wanderings today, I read a comment somewhere that made this (paraphrased) point: They use these people in whatever manner suits their needs at the time. When they're alive, they're the subject of jokes, ridicule, and all manner of disdain. But when they die, they're saints and the Girls Next Door (see: Anna Nicole Smith). Why does Death turn these media idiots into such fans?

Seriously - Greta van Sustern talking about Michael Jackson? That girl couldn't get down if you chainsawed her legs off at the knees and gave her a shove. But blahbbity blahbbity blah, there she was, yammering on about Michael Jackson as if he were a real person to her.

They say there's no such thing as bad publicity. I sometimes wonder if the cable "news" outlets don't believe there's no such thing as bad news. They certainly seemed to get a little thrill, yesterday.

I will hug him and squeeze him and call him Stu

2009-06-25T12:21:00.004-05:00

You may not realize that Decorah is under attack. Attack?, you ask. Yes. Our very way of Life is threatened by an insidious enemy who knows no mercy.

Little bugger (or one of his buddies) ate my eggplant! I figured since I didn't have any lettuce, they'd leave the garden alone. Shows how much I know about rabbits.

I'll bet Michelle Obama doesn't have this problem.

Time Passages

2009-06-24T08:52:00.005-05:00

So many things to do...

It's been a busy week and the next week promises to be even busier. All the goings on in the political world and on the international stage have kept me fairly busy on the internet, which is good because busy=$ as far as that goes. (If you haven't read my in depth analyses on the situation in Iran, you really haven't missed anything.) On the local and domestic front, there's a ton of stuff to do, as well.

My ex is moving back to the States from Cambodia, so I have all kinds of things to take care of before she gets here. (Yes, it's a rather strange situation but love will make people do strange things.) Lawn care, gardening, cleaning, storing stuff to make room for her stuff... every time I cross something off the To Do list, something takes its place. And talk about nerves.... yeesh! Now, if only I could get rid of this Grinch belly I've developed and add a few inches to the old biceps, I'd be feeling pretty good. Ah well - here's hoping that love is still blind.

I'm kind of disappointed about the garden. I planted it extremely late due to the rainy weather we've had, so it's going to be a while before there's any produce. I started a little planter of herbs, which is coming along but I'm not sure it's going to produce as well as I'd hoped.

The rain has made the lawn and the roses grow like crazy. I'll get some pictures up, later.

I'm not sure what this is, but the backyard is full of them. Michael?

Flom 2008

2009-06-10T10:45:00.001-05:00

I posted the pictures I shot from last year's flood to an online gallery.

The 2008 Decorah Flood

Or is it 99% Inspiration?

2009-03-22T20:14:00.003-05:00

Hey, did you kids know that Benji and Aryn have a blog for Inspire(d) Media? They do! (Notice how I cleverly linked the site in the name? That's an internets thing, dig it!)

So why are you still reading this dismal blog when you could be reading Inspire(d) Media's blog? (I did it again - did you notice?) Seriously, what are you going to learn from a (youthful and terribly handsome) 40-something crank like me? I don't like lutefisk or local editorials? Oh yeah, that's news, all right.

Go now. Read. Be a better citizen. Or at least a cooler citizen.

Sweaty Dreams and @%!#&*$!-ing Machines in Pieces on the Ground

2009-02-27T10:39:00.003-06:00

Oy, what a couple weeks it's been! The kitchen is complete, I'm 90-something percent moved in and technology is taunting me - nay, mocking me! The new place is great but I have never, ever had so many computer problems as I've had this last week. Makes me wanna kill a brother!

I don't know if this place carries a different brand of electricity, but my main computer wouldn't even power up here. Seriously, the little power light just kept blinking some kind of Morse code "Fuck you, pally!", even after I unplugged it. Balls! So, in preparation for the new internet service, I grabbed the backup system, fired it up, then remembered that I'd pulled the CD drive and put into the main computer. Gah! CD Drive transplants are not as exciting as you might think. I swapped the memory over while I was at it, as well.

Backup system fires up with no problem, and I'm licking my chops at the thought of the new widescreen monitor I just picked up. But... (you knew there was a "But" coming, right?) the computer won't render the new resolution correctly. Hmmm... install the monitor CD and load the drivers and... nope! Another couple hours wasted while I try to reconfigure the display and get the video card to recognize the new drivers. I finally resolved that issue and the new monitor is working like a charm and dazzling me with its funky fresh coolness. I highly recommend a widescreen.

Now, of course, the new system is missing the dope software I use on a regular basis. Not a huge deal, because I can download most of it and there were a few apps that needed to be upgraded anyway. Still, there are a few apps that I don't feel like downloading again, mainly because the sources are - how shall I say it? - somewhat gray market, if you will, which makes them a little less convenient to install ,what with the extra steps involved.

And, of course, the main system had all my e-mail addresses on it - work, friends, classmates, everybody. And if that weren't enough, the e-mail app on the new system won't connect to the SMTP server properly, so I can't send e-mail from one of my accounts. Not cool, man - not cool. I'm hoping I'll be able to hook up the old hard drive as a slave and recover some of this stuff, but I don't have a lot of faith in the computer gods at this point.

Kids, take a lesson from my mistakes: Back up, back up, back up! I thought I had things covered but I didn't push the mantra deeply enough. Sure, my media files are safely on two other drives, but man... I really shot myself in the foot this time.

All in all, though, I can't complain; I have a sweet apt. with criminally low rent in a great location. I'll post some pictures of the new kitchen, once I've gathered the requisite cords and software.

Hell Week

2009-02-09T08:56:00.003-06:00

Well, the big week is here. Bro-in-law will be here, probably tomorrow, to start the renovation at the new apt. My sisters dear will be here later in the week to go through some things and make ready for Mom's move to Michigan. There's a lot of work to do in a few short days.

Install cabinetry, sink, stove and countertops in the kitchen
Refinish or replace kitchen floor
Move furniture into the new place
Move my stuff to the new place
Move some of Mom's bedroom furniture onto the trailer for her new place
Clean my old place

At some point this week, I'll be transferring my DSL to the new place, which means fiddling with the phone lines to find the best way to hook it up. This will not be fun and also means I probably won't get much paying work done this week. We also need to go through a lot of Mom's paperwork to prepare for taxes and take care of other arrangements for her move. I was one of the leads on moving our office from the suburbs to downtown, in a previous work life, and that was far more enjoyable than a personal move.

There's a part of me that will miss the old place but it's a small part. The new apt. is 2 to 3 times bigger and will have a nice, new bathroom and kitchen. It will be worth it, so I shouldn't complain. Still...

Superman! We need you! And bring a blogger!

2009-02-06T09:30:00.017-06:00

It seems our little village is beginning to fall apart. The Co-op is struggling with finances, its reputation and some logistical challenges that, imo, can be directly traced to leadership issues. The local recycling program is slated to be dropped by the current operator and there's no indication of how or whether the County will take over the operation.

And the local newspaper Poobah has, believe it or not, made a not-so-subtle harsh on bloggers. Not me, specifically - as far as I know - but still... We bloggers are a feisty bunch, not particularly inclined to take criticism graciously from people who can barely "do a Google" and think their position in an industry gives them carte blanche to point fingers and tell us "how it is".

As a newspaper editor, I admit I have a strong vested interest in the subject, but the value of newspapers is something many people take for granted in this era of the Internet, blogs and BlackBerrys. And they shouldn't.

Obtaining news by reading short blurbs on the Internet or the mindless, more-often-than-not inaccurate assertions by bloggers is the lazy way to obtain information on prudent matters that profoundly affect all of us. Unfortunately, that approach can be an impediment to beneficial and meaningful progress.

Huh... On one hand, I'm not really burning up with righteous indignation over this slight, regardless of its intended target(s). This column, and a similar, previous column** I'll have to hunt down, bring a sense of irony that we bloggers are so terribly fond of - i.e., I'm reading Rick's columns on the paper's web site. Via my computer. Because, evidently, even Rick Fromm realizes that the times are changing - perhaps more slowly in Decorah than some parts of the World - and a good number of people prefer to find their news online.

I don't buy the deadtree version of the paper, personally. Who needs the stack of papers cluttering up the place? Not to mention the 75 cents per issue. Sure, there's a point to be made that I'm missing out on some things. But do you know why? Because the paper doesn't bother to post them on their web site. A few thoughts on the whole scenario:

I'm sure the paper brings in more ad dollars via the deadtree version than they do on the web site. That makes sense, I suppose, due to space and layout formatting for ads. And I'd hazard to guess the deadtree version gets more eyeballs than the web site, right now.
The web site is, frankly, pretty dismal. Between the numerous typos, redundant and mis-categorized classified ads, and overall paucity of content... well, it's not exactly blowing my mind, y'know? Does anybody actually look at the site on a regular basis? Seriously, they'd do their online readers a great service by hiring someone (ahem!) to edit and manage the site. Hell, hire an exlusive online reporter and give people a reason to read the site. (ahem! again)

I was going to make another point there, but I think it deserves a deeper analysis, so here goes. I realize this is a small town and, honestly, we're fortunate to have a successful, long running newspaper here, but... Well, it's just not very good, in my opinion. Where's the journalism? Every article of length that I read is basically a long quote from whomever they happen to interview on the subject. Where's the analysis? Where's the investigation? Where's the "here's what this means to you, citizen"? And back to the web site comparison, does the deadtree version contain the same editing mistakes and lack of attention to detail?

Rick lobs an easy-for-him crank on bloggers but, to be honest, most of the bloggers that I read do a far better job of posting facts, sources and analysis, and make the issue more interesting than anything I've seen from the local paper. Rick had a column***, some months back that I'll have to hunt down, making the case (not very subtly, I might add) that you should stick with the professionals and avoid having work done by hobbyists. So, I have to ask: What exactly are the qualifications of the folks at the local paper? Are they Journalism majors? (I honestly don't know, I'm not being snarky here.) You don't have to live in Decorah too long to see the "Family Business" model (koff nepotism koff) at work in some of our media outlets. So...??? Is this an example of professionalism? Maybe I'm missing something, I don't know.

To be perfectly honest, does the newspaper provide any information that the grapevine wouldn't give us, if we had a little more patience? Here's a perfect example - the Police report or Police Blotter or whatever they call it. Seriously, Rick? In 2009? What is that, but a chance for people to nod knowingly at each other and cluck their tongues over traffic accidents and those "ne'er do wells from out of town"? It's hardly what I'd call a "public service", to say nothing of its newsworthiness. How bout some actual investigation and analysis on current events that actually affect us and our neighbors? Agri-Processors ring a bell? You said the story wasn't newsworthy because (to paraphrase) it "didn't occur in Winneshiek County." Sweet balls, brother! Talk about tone deaf.

Maybe someday we can sit down for a beer and I'll tell you how some fellow bloggers and I nearly shut down a talk radio station owned by a national media corporation, because the hosts were calling for the execution of people for their political beliefs. Or how three of us raised over $6,000 in less than two months to pay for utilities, holiday meals and provide Xmas gifts for some folks across the country who were down on their luck. Or how mindless bloggers discovered a "reporter" in the White House press pool was a gay* male prostitute with no real journalism experience, working for an online GOP "news outlet", whose White House visitation records were "classified". (Doesn't that just burn your britches, Rick? The nerve!) I could go on.

"...mindless, more-often-than-not inaccurate assertions by bloggers..." Sure, that kind of thing happens. You're not exactly rockin' the free world, either, pally.

* I don't care if anyone's gay or not. But a gay male escort working for GOPUSA.com and pushing Republican talking points? It is to fucking laugh.

** As luck would have it, I can't find that particular column Rick penned, by searching the paper's online archives. You might be less than surprised to learn that most bloggers' sites have far better search capabilities than the local paper's web site.

*** See above. QED, Rick... QED.

4 in the morning came without a warning

2009-01-26T04:19:00.002-06:00

- or - Insomniacs Don't Sleep Around

For the past several months, I've had a somewhat annoying habit of falling asleep in my recliner while watching TV, then waking up between 3 and 5am. The annoying part of this is that I can't get myself to go to bed, so I end up dinking around, trying to find something to do until the rest of the world wakes up. (Which might make you think I have nothing to do, which isn't true - I just don't want to do those things at that hour.) I've never been a big sleeper so once I'm up, I'm up, and that's the end of it.

So, here's list of random and probably irrelevant things going through my head this morning:

1 - I broke the shower in my apt. - well, the hand-held shower head, to be accurate. This obviously presents me with a hygienic dilemma, which is only mitigated by the fact that I don't spend a lot of time around actual people, most days. On the plus side, I can use the facilities at Mom's place, but I never thought I'd have to walk two blocks to take a shower. Of course, I could simply buy a new shower head, but I'm fairly psyched about moving out of this apt. and I don't feel like spending the money on it. (It's an old-timey bathtub that didn't have the shower hooked up when I moved in, so it's not like I have to leave a shower set up when I move. Yes, I know it's the right and generous thing to do, but...)

2 - I'm having a terrible time finding music I like, lately. I have somewhere near 9,000 songs in my iTunes catalog but nothing's moving me. Suggestions are welcome. Or if you're looking for something, let me know and I'll see if I have it.

3 - I keep meeting people I know (knew?) in town but not introducing myself. I don't know why. If we start talking, I'm happy to tell them who my parents are, but I can't seem to bring myself to just say, "It's me! I know you from years ago." Still odd, after all these years, I guess... Though I did run into a former elementary school PE teacher, but I can't remember her name, which may result in some computer work. Interesting...

4 - Speaking of music, I re-strung my bass last night, in preparation for this year's Bash. I'm pretty excited about playing, but I've really lost my edge over the years. I have a terrible time remembering lyrics and I've lost all confidence in my voice, to the point that I'm almost afraid to sing out loud.

Well, I feel better already! I should find something productive to do, now. Happy Monday! (Yes, the post title is a Night Ranger lyric. Good memory!)

Winterkill

2009-01-16T12:17:00.005-06:00

I was sitting here thinking about the weather, like most of my neighbors in the great Midwest, and I suddenly wondered what the cost of the last month's storms and bitter temperatures has been. A few of us had discussed the near-panicked pre-storm stocking up that's occurred occasionally, but I'd be willing to bet that the snow, ice and bitter cold have seriously affected a lot of businesses across the area.

I know for a fact that restaurant and bar business has suffered (not that I haven't done my part to help the bars). Hell, the Haymarket closed early due to the ice storm a few weeks ago - that's serious weather, kids! I've seen that some livestock trading outfits shut down for a day or two because of the current cold snap, schools have closed for days at a time, the streets are unusually quiet downtown.

I'm not enough of an economist to determine how deep or wide the effects will be, but I'm sure that January will end up being a less than stellar month for a lot of smaller business throughout the Midwest. And that, of course, means that a lot of employees will be hurting. I haven't paid attention to state news enough to know if Culver has declared a Disaster situation, or whether that's warranted, but I know it's going to be a lean month for more than a few folks.

If you build it, they'll screw it up for you

2009-01-12T15:06:00.006-06:00

From the e-mail:

On Friday Liz was "laid off with no cause," a term that means exactly what it says and no more. This action was taken by interim General Manager Michelle Schry, who is here for 9 weeks as we await the Jan. 26 arrival of Troy Bond, our newly hired GM. When she told Liz, 44 hours earlier, that she was about to be laid off, the reason given was that "your work is non-essential in the operation of a natural foods grocery store."

Huh...

It takes a lot... no, an extraordinary amount of balls for an interim(!) Manager to let a 25 yr. veteran go during a managerial transition period. Poor form and a very poor business decision, in my opinion. I'm very surprised that the Board would stand behind that action.

Part of the work I do is to convince my clients that their service model sucks. You can probably imagine how well that goes over - no one wants to hear that their baby isn't perfect. But this... I'd actually considered applying for the GM position at the Co-op - my resume isn't a perfect match, but you never know, right? - but after seeing how the Board rolled over for a fucking interim Manager on a nine week temp schedule... pffft! I wouldn't trust them to water my plants.

And while we're on the subject (you knew this was coming, right?), I've heard all kinds of horror stories, and patiently waited to play my part in trying to fix some of them, about how the Co-op operates. There's "We're a different kind of business!", and there's slack-jawed yokelism that lets your business pull itself under so you can maintain your bike trail cred. And all the patchouli and St. John's Wort in the world isn't going to outshine common sense and fundamental business practices. And the Co-op is a business. Just ask Michelle Schry.

I have to run an errand - I'll have more, in a bit.

Thinker's Block and Buggy Whips

2009-01-11T11:50:00.005-06:00

I have a terrible time writing anything from a local perspective. I suppose a lot of that is because my blogging experience has been as an adversarial, muckraking SOB lobbing snark and curses into the national discourse, and I feel a little too exposed trying to write for people who know me. (Yes, I'm one of those foulmouthed bloggers you're always hearing about.) But even my alter ego blogging has trailed off, lately - I just don't have anything to say, to be honest. Which is really a poor status for a blogger, as you can imagine. I guess it's a good thing I never had any advertising, though that may have provided some impetus to write. Who knows...

Frankly, I'm not very good at "feel good" stories and personal reflection - well, at least not writing it down, anyway. To me, blogging is just inherently rant-y (that's a word, you can look it up) and, again, adversarial. But without that sense of anonymity, I have a hard time railing on the goings-on in the local scene. Not that I'm terribly concerned about people thinking I'm some kind of radical ne'er do well, but I don't know... it's different when you have to live around the people you're cranking on. Then again, maybe that's what this town needs - a firebrand who's not afraid to use a little salty language and call a dick move, a dick move.

Speaking of dick moves (that didn't take long, did it?) I'm not sure exactly what's going on at the Co-op. I see, via the Facebook and some unsolicited but well-meaning e-mails, that Liz Rog was let go. My experience with Liz is rather minimal, but she's one of those people that just... radiates something good. And, honestly, I'm not a Co-op member or even a serious supporter - I appreciate the concept and what those folks do, I've just never really taken the plunge and made myself a part of the scene. But I'm literally flabbergasted that the Board would let her go. Hell, at the risk of barrelling headlong into melodrama, Liz Rog is the Co-op - or at least the smiling, blue-eyed face of it. Very strange. Expect the paper to be filled with editorials expressing dismay and righteous indignation in the very near future.

It's interesting - to me, at least - to observe and experience the multiple personalities that a modern small town exhibits. Progress battles it out with heritage and history; technology makes shy advances and awkwardly gropes tradition; cliques and causes eye the competition, preening and strutting their stuff for our attention. I suppose it's the same old story that's been unfolding in every small town, in every generation, but it's half a headtrip to come back and watch it after so much time away.

The upcoming Reunion makes me wonder about our classmates: Why did you stay here? Why did you leave? Why did you come back? Will I measure up? Do I need to measure up? Have 25 years and thousands of miles softened the edges of our teen angst and given us something - maybe everything? - in common?

The Facebook pre-Reunion reunion has been a blast, for me. I wish I could find all 150 of us online and get the memories churning, get the Pep Enough flowing and give us all a chance to share in the victories and defeats, before we come together face to face. It also gives me a moment of pause and a fair amount of chagrin to think that I could have, should have, stayed in touch with so many people over the last 25 years. Ruth did me a huge favor, frankly, asking me to tackle this thing. It's pushing me out of my little world and reminding me of all the great people I had the privilege to grow up with.

I guess that's it from the small town front, for today. On, Decorah!

You gotta face the Facebook

2008-12-27T13:48:00.003-06:00

Well, my nieces and nephews are probably quite dismayed that I found them on the Facebook. (If you're reading this, kids, I'm not a dork. Our generation likes to add "the" to stuff like Facebook and Google, because... well, we're dorks, I guess.) There are probably some classmates out there who are equally dismayed.

On the other hand, now they know I'm on the Facebook, too. Didn't think that one through very carefully, did I?

Now all I need is a dog and my pipe

2008-12-23T14:14:00.004-06:00

Hey, does everyone remember the story about my new boots? I got new boots! No, that's pretty much the whole story, actually.

Anyhoo - the back story on this is that my sister had given me a pair of Uggs, a few years ago, which is pretty cool because Uggs are outrageously expensive. (My nephew had grown out of them and they fit me perfectly. See? God does too love me!) Well, this year they had a blow out and I mentioned it to my sister, so she bought me a pair of Timberland boots. That's pretty cool, in and of itself, but she also bought me a pair of slippers.

Now, I'm not normally a slippers kind of guy, but, as I may have mentioned, it's been hellaciously cold around here lately. And my "office" sits over an empty hallway, so the floor is pretty freakin' cold on the toes. Well, lemme tell ya, there's a new slipper guy in town and it's me!

I'm tempted to subscribe to the newspaper, so I can wander out to get the paper in my robe and slippers. Scratch that - they'd deliver it inside the door, and I don't have a robe. Though I suppose I could buy a robe then wander over to Fareway to get the paper. "Morning, Mrs. Fjelterhagensgaard! Beautiful day, isn't it?"

I am liking this idea...

Happy Festivus!

2008-12-23T11:10:00.004-06:00

I know you're probably thinking, "Hey, Scott - how can I be joyful when Dick Cheney still walks the Earth?" Well, truthfully, you got me on that one, but sometimes it's just a matter of will power. Or a national commitment to victory, if you will.

But Festivus is here, once again. So, gather your loved ones and air your grievances; raise the aluminum pole; revel in the feats of strength. Really, it's a shame we have to wait for Festivus to enjoy those things.

It's a gorgeous day and I should probably get out there and do some Festivus shopping. (read: buy some clothes so I can put the laundry off for one more day.) One advantage of small town America is that you don't have to fight the crowds at the malls. God I hate the crowds at the malls. I suppose Wingnut-Mart is just a small town version of the mall, but I don't go there very often, which helps me maintain my small town innocence and real American values.

Anyhoo - enjoy the holidays! If you're in D-town, look me up and we'll grab a beer or some nog of some kind.

Roanoke 52101

2008-12-19T09:41:00.004-06:00

The storm was brutal and far greater than we had feared. We are trapped, unable to gather supplies or journey to the neighboring villages. Our stocks run low and already we have begun to see a glimpse of the devastation that awaits our small colony. The children are wan; mothers are unable to stifle their cries of hunger.

So great is the snowfall that we have lost sight of our livestock, even though they are some small rods away from our homes. Those animals who manage to survive the snow will surely fall to the roving wolves whose nightly wailing prevents us our sleep.

We cannot heat our small abodes, as the firewood is buried so deeply that we cannot see it, and venturing to the woods would leave us lost and mean certain death. I fear this to be the end of our colony and its faithful citizens. We place our hope in Gold Almighty, but catch ourselves questioning how he could visit such a calamity upon His own.

We shall have naught but prayer for our Supper again tonight. May this record survive to inform those who shall come after us, and may God have mercy on our souls.

Is that an icicle in your pants?

2008-12-16T11:23:00.002-06:00

Man, it's freaking COLD here! Thank god my internal organs are protected by this newly acquired layer of Grinch fat, or I don't know what I'd do. It's another good day to stay inside but I have some errands to run, which means I get to try out my new boots! Um, yeah, I know - wearing a new pair of boots isn't particulary exciting in the big picture, but... new boots! (Little secret: I'm wearing them right now. Inside! As I type! Cuz they're new.) And really, who doesn't get a secret thrill when someone says, "Hey, are those new boots you're wearing?"? I know I do.

It's snowing again. (Albino brain chiggers! Cover your ears!) It's like God is saying, "Scott. Dude. Get your damned skis!" Makes me wonder if I should get those skis I've been thinking about. And I know the ladies in town are anxiously waiting to see me in my skinny spandex ski pants. I hear you, ladies... I hear you.

I suppose I should get going.

Must come down

2008-12-15T11:19:00.003-06:00

In a continuing attempt to mess with my head, the weather has taken a turn and it's -21F with the windchill, today. To put that into practical terms, it's too damned cold to go outside and do anything.

This will not stand.

The Big Thaw

2008-12-13T13:18:00.005-06:00

I'm very confused. The temperature is over 30 degrees today, which seems unmonthably mild. (unmonthably? That's a word. I just made it up, but it's a word.) There's hardly any sign of the big storm that hit us a few days ago - not that I'm complaining.

This is the time of year when people start saying things like, "We need a good cold snap to get rid of all those cold germs!", and other people nod their heads in the shared profundity of it all. Oh, I suppose there's probably some truth to it, but it always makes me chuckle.

I still haven't picked up my X country skis but there's plenty of time for that. Well, judging by my recently developed Kidney Protection Layer, maybe I need to get on the ball. On the other hand, I seem to have grown into my new jeans, so maybe I'm better off not messing with the ol' waistline. Seriously, jeans are a lot cheaper than skis, so... No, who am I kidding - I need the exercise.

Speaking of puppies (hm? what?) my friend is going to have an adorable litter of labradoodle / retrievadoodle puppies in the next couple months. Any takers? They're going to be awwwfully cute! I should also take this time to remind you that it's a good idea to spay or neuter your pets - especially if you have a male and female dog in the same household. Ahem...

Oh! The online charity I'm working with is doing really well (no thanks to PayPal, yeesh!). I posted something this morning and we received over $800 in donations in just a couple hours. That means we can do some real good for some folks who are having a tough time. And there are plenty of them, frankly. With children. Frankly, it would be depressing if we weren't working to help make a better holiday season for them. I think I may have found my calling, to be honest. I just need to find a way to make a living at it and I'd be good.

Anyhoo - that's about it for now. Hope you're all having a great weekend, so far.

Storm's a comin', best get the chickens inside

2008-12-08T16:30:00.006-06:00

I went over to Fareway today and it was madness. Not a shopping cart to be found, great empty spaces on the shelves - the soup section was decimated. So, when I got to the register, I asked "Is there a storm coming or it always like this on Mondays?" She laughed and, apparently, there is a storm coming.

Growing up here, I don't remember panicking or stocking up on groceries before a storm, but maybe I just didn't notice it. Then again, we always had fairly good stockpiles of food, so there wasn't a need for a rushed trip to the store. I'm sure I would have found it very exciting, though. MNMom is going through the very same thing, as I write this.

The storm, so far, is a crappy bout of ice pellets, so people are smart to stay off the streets tonight. I don't know if the stores are open late for Xmas, yet, but this weather isn't going to help. As my Dad used to say, "t'aint fit for man nor beast out there!"

The title of the post is something my friend, Scott, said once and it's always cracked me up. You have to say it in a kind of creaky, old New England voice to get the full effect, though. Go ahead and try it.

I miss Nor-Ski

2008-12-07T16:02:00.002-06:00

A cold, cloudy, snowy day like this reminds of the time I spent at Nor-Ski when I was a young scrapper. From my first, tearful runs down the bunny hill as a seven year old to driving out there for night skiing on Wednesdays when I was in high school.

I can remember the acrid smell and dry air from the heater in the "chalet", the smell of wet leather from my mittens and mitten guards. I remember the exact shades of green of the tow ropes, and the difference between the new ropes and the old. Learning to flip that towbar behind my back. I remember how cool I thought I was with my red gators and Look ski gloves when I was older. I remember my skis stretching from the middle of my car seat back to the back deck, because I didn't have a roof rack. The silly walk we all did in our ski boots, but nobody thought it was silly.

Bunny, Snow Bunny, Novice, Expert... the Suicide Run... Bob Hunt and the Ski Patrol classes... My friends' older brothers, who skied hell bent for leather and were practically gods in my eyes... The dull ache of snow jammed inside the cuffs of my gloves and stuck on my wrist... And the smell of snow, on the ground or in the air...

This year I'm going to buy some X-country skis, but I don't suppose I'll ever lose those memories of Nor-Ski.

Zero Hour, 8AM

2008-12-06T23:56:00.003-06:00

For the last few weeks, I've been working on a project with some of those Dirty Fucking Hippies from the Great Orange Satan. (Ooooh, I hope Bill O'Reilly doesn't catch wind of this!) Basically, it started as a program to match up folks who had no place to go for Thanksgiving with folks who could host a guest or two. In just under a week, we were able to assist in making some success stories and helping some people connect and make new friends. (Some of the success stories brought a tear or two to my eye. Just sayin'...)

Of course, once you get a taste of that kind of work, you want to see what else you can accomplish. So, it turned into a full on program to raise money to help folks with bills, buy toys for children, match up more folks for the holidays, and who knows where we'll take it from here.

There are three of us doing most of the work on this, right now, and since I have a brand new website with no content and lots of bandwidth available, I've been doing the tech work. Frustrating? You betcha! I'm using an interface that's new to me and there's a certain amount of pressure to get this thing set up in time to manage the requester and donor information so we can provide some real results. But it's been a good learning experience and, frankly, it fits perfectly with the vision I had for the new website. So, maybe I was preparing myself for this project before I even knew about it. That's cool. Well, as long as Sarah Palin doesn't find out and make snide comments about us being Community Organizers.

Anyhoo - we're going to launch the second wave tomorrow morning and it should be an interesting week and a half. I'm hoping that we can really make a difference for some folks who are going through tough times. No idea what's coming down the road after Xmas. One of the principles mentioned helping people with heating bills, which could keep us busy all Winter.

I'll let you know how things turn out.

It's like a weekend, without all that pesky free time

2008-12-06T11:00:00.003-06:00

Oh, Saturday mornings - how I miss our quiet time together, drinking coffee and wondering what the busy people are doing.

Y'know, if it's going to snow, why doesn't it snow? This quarter inch of stuff on the ground is a real pain in the ass. Sure, I need the exercise, but come on... It's a perfectly good day to stay inside with a few pots of coffee and the internets, but now I have to go outside and "shovel".

I need to go over to Mom J's house this morning. She's not doing too well after the stroke - wait, scratch that. She's doing pretty well for an 88 year old woman who's had a stroke, but it's a rather scary situation, all in all. I'm completely out of my sphere of experience with it all, too.

Then it's off to the PT job, tonight. I can't complain, I guess - it's not really "work", in the strictest sense - but still, it would be nice to have a weekend to myself. I don't know what I'd do if I couldn't whine.

More, later, if anything exciting pops into my head.

Needing me now is something I could use

2008-12-06T01:58:00.003-06:00

I can't explain it, but I love this video. Enjoy!

Not with a bang, but with a whisper

2008-12-05T13:14:00.002-06:00

And, so, with little to no fanfare, I start another blog. You'd think I'd get tired of jumping in to bump elbows with the rest of the blogosphere but I'm apparently some kind of glutton for obscurity. Surprisingly, to me anyway, several of my classmates have blogs and we've been making the rounds, visiting each other via the web and, in some cases, reconnecting after quite some time apart. Huzzah!

Local blogging is a bit weird to me, so we'll see how this goes. (Hey, I'm not paranoid, I'm just afraid people are watching me and plotting against me.)

So, to begin, here's a "Hi-diddly-doo, neighborino!" to my friends Michael, Ruth, Brenda, Suzie, Mindy, Margaret, Ben and whomever else I come across from our old school.